it isnt a good start for today. well, to realise that my mp3 is destroyed. i was lost, i feel frustrated. music is what i start with in my everyday life. and it doesnt feel the same having to repair it or buy a new one cause its just isnt the one i bought anymore. call me stubborn all you want. i just want my mp3 the way it is before. i need to listen to music. i need that accompanyment. there is nothing that occupies me when i walk to school or walk home now. i feel so lonely. and i sang inside my heart on the way home just to imagine that everything is all right. but the more i think of the songs, the more i had to stop my tears from flowing out. I FEEL SO LONELY. I CANT DO WITHOUT IT. and you can call me a crybaby. people thinks that i am stupid to cry over my mp3. well, yes i am stupid enough. to cry over something that is essential to my life, why not.

i really wanted to not talk at all today. i want to shut myself in, maybe keep everything inside. but i couldnt, i started crying to claire in the parade square. maybe i could have perservere a little more and wait till i reached back home then i start crying out. now the whole class knows about it. like, how dumb can i get. but my girlfriends were really nice. i am thankful for having them. thank you, sweethearts. i love all of you!

dont ask me if i blame him, cause i dont know. i am lost and feels frustrated. i need to find back my directions before i can answer that question.

-i think i need someone to walk me home from now on.

___ no more.